Quick Thoughts on Divorce and Children

Divorce continues to wreak havoc to our American society. As a pastor, I have heard this statementla-fi-mo-valentine-divorce-20130213-001┬ánumerous times from people who are considering divorce: “it is best for the kids that we divorce.” The reasons given are almost always the same. The husband and/or wife do not want the kids to see his or her or their behavior because that “hurts the children.”

Jayne, a woman quoted in Thom Rainier’s book “The Millennials,” offers a personal, passionate, and devastating critique of such statements:

“Mom said that it was best to divorce so my brothers and I didn’t have to live with all the fighting. I almost exploded in my reaction to her. I told her it was not best. I told her that it tore us up. I told her to not to ever think that they did us a favor. . . I had to apologize to mom. I really hurt her by my outburst. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but I was so tired of hearing how the divorce was best for us children. Don’t they know that getting along and reconciling would have been best for us children? Were they really thinking of us?” [1]

[1]┬áThom Rainier and Jess Rainer, The Millennials: Connecting to America’s Largest Generation, (Nashville: Broadman and Holman, 2011), 154

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